In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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