Sponge bath it is.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
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No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
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I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
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