I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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