So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
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so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
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Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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