Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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