i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
