I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
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