Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
