My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
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He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
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Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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