hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
