I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
