I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
