hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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