even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize