I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
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I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
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Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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