literally had 100 drinks last night.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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