You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Randomize
