I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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