Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
We were destined to go to rehab together
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
