dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
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