so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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