My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
