do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
