i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
