she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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