apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
