thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
