omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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