i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
