I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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