my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
