i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
