i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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