A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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