so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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