Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She told me I should be a condom model.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
