Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
