I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
