well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
FUCK WHALES
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
