just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
