names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
