It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize