If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
They are going to name an STD after you.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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