do herpes really smell.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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