you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
