i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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