So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize