We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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