just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
