they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
