That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
