Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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