Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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