How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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