What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
