Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Randomize
