I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
