Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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