.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
