the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
