Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
